


Christmas By Numbers

by scoradh



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-16 00:17:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1324651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scoradh/pseuds/scoradh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the Marauders' last Christmas at Hogwarts, and naturally Sirius is going to make sure it goes off with a bang. Unless Remus manages to keep him from turning metaphor into reality...</p><p>Written in December 2004.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas By Numbers

'What about this one, Moony?'

'No,' Remus said, on principle, without looking around.

'Or this one?'

'No,' Remus repeated, spotting a ten-pack of sugar quills and eyeing them thoughtfully, searching for the price tag.

'I wasn't even holding anything _up_ this time.' Sirius sounded injured now. Suppressing a sigh - Sirius could be very wearying at times, such as just after break-time, in the evening, around lunchtime, late at night, and, far too often, at four in the morning - Remus turned to face him.

'Look, Padfoot,' he started patiently, 'I know you think you've got money to burn, but if we buy everyone in Gryffindor house solid gold cruet sets -'

'It was only the one, because Sally said she liked them,' Sirius pouted.

'You don't need to buy her affection,' Remus said in exasperation. 'The girl practically kisses the ground on which you tread. What I was saying, though, is that if this plan is to work we need to keep a rein on the spending, or we'll be breaking you out of debtor's prison.'

'What's your idea, then, Mr Economist?' Sirius demanded, crossing his arms, scepticism leaking from every pore, much like that disastrous essence-of-centaur aftershave he'd worn for a month in fourth year.

'That we keep some money aside for nice presents for our year, and just buy everyone else tokens, like sweets,' Remus explained. 'I reckon we could get a good deal if we bulk-buy stuff here, and goodness knows Zonko's got enough business from us - or you, rather - in the last seven years to cut us some slack.' Sirius still looked doubtful, and Remus added, in an endeavour to get him to see sense (despite numerous examples over the years that Sirius would rather eat his own head than do such a thing), 'Look, it's not like people are expecting this. Whatever we give them is going to be a surprise _anyway_ \- and I imagine they'll be absolutely delighted if it doesn't actually explode on them.'

'Now _there's_ an idea,' Sirius said, sounding thrilled.

'NO!'

~

James wandered around a snow-bound Hogsmeade, lost in thought. In theory, he was supposed to be shopping in Zonko's with Peter, on the lookout for cheap tricks. However, Peter had managed, somehow, to get his nose badly chewed by a Biting Teacup and had had to return to the castle. James, who knew the stock well enough to have written an itinerary, hadn't bothered to continue on his own. If Remus came up with a way to make this work, he'd nip back through the tunnel and pick up what they needed. Sirius and James had eventually started using his dampening logic instead of deriding it, after a couple of small pranks, and one big one, had gone badly wrong.

It was an excellent plan, he had to admit, and one which he thought the rest of Gryffindor might actually enjoy, as opposed to just surviving. Moreover, it was the perfect opportunity to sneak Lily something that would finally convince her that he was one of the good guys. As it stood, she seemed to regard him as one step down from the lovechild of Frankenstein and Attila the Hun. And he had no idea why.

... _Of course, there was the matter of the charm that'd turned her hair pink for a month in first year...and the soup he'd spilled on her new robes in second year...and all the times in class when he'd broken something or cursed something or exploded something, and she'd ended up covered in slime or dirt or bubbling pustules...or the hundreds of occasions on which she'd caught him taunting Snape...or that class last year when he'd accidentally ripped her skirt so that it split clean in half..._

...But he'd only been trying to get her to notice him, so he really didn't deserve to be cold-shouldered like that. Padfoot agreed, too - although Moony refused to say anything...

The only problem was, he hadn't the first idea how one went about shopping for girls, much less girls you fancied like mad. He'd only had one girlfriend in all his time at Hogwarts; Marianne Bones. They'd gone out for exactly three weeks, at which point she'd got sick of him complaining about how mean Lily was to him and his frequent hints that she might dye her hair red. He'd had one date with her in Madame Puddifoot's, much handholding and a couple of trips to a broom closet in the Quidditch changing rooms. Somehow, he didn't think Lily would appreciate a voucher for Puddifoot's, or even an invitation to visit the changing rooms with him. Tempting though it undoubtedly was - at least, if his own brief experiences and Sirius' exploits in the same were anything to go by - Lily had already turned him down on that offer, oh, seventeen times, so it really wasn't an option.

He hadn't had a chance to ask his friends for advice, but as he wandered from shop to shop, becoming increasingly flustered, he wondered if it wouldn't be better to find them, or better still, ask Sirius' latest to buy something in his place. Sirius would probably suggest expensive jewellery, which was what he always bought his girlfriends. At this stage, had he kept it, he'd have enough to open his own shop. He liked anniversaries and splashing out on people, and because he had such a high turnover of girlfriends he had ample opportunity to shock Remus with his flagrant spending.

The Potters were nothing like as filthy rich as the Blacks, though, and James really didn't have enough money to purchase something of real quality; and if it wasn't decent, he didn't want to give it to Lily. Not that he'd have known an emerald from a bit of lake-grit. He really needed his friends' help. It was an awful pity Lily had stopped allowing him to talk to her in sixth year; if only he had been in a position to casually chat with her, he could have dropped some kind of off-the-cuff question into the conversation. That was a good idea, mind; he could send in Remus. If all the girls wanted Sirius, they all adored Remus, and loved to pet him. It made him mightily uncomfortable, which was why James and Sirius dropped him into it as often as possible. Sirius often said that 'Moony needs a bit of shaking up, you know? Oh, and a girlfriend. Badly needs a girlfriend.' So far, though, Remus had inexplicably turned down all off Sirius' offers to set him up.

James was just about to give up in despair, and go for a pint in the Three Broomsticks, when the object of his desire came out of a shop just ahead of him.

James' first instinct was to flee; Lily could be notoriously cutting when she felt the need, and James always made her feel the need. At this stage, it was a wonder even to James why he still fancied her; back in the dawn of time, or first year, there must have been a reason, but now it was just a deeply-entrenched habit, more dug-in than a soldier along the Maginot line.

Before he had a chance to have it away upon his heels, Lily had noticed him, and if he ran he'd look like a coward. He'd face down any number of cruel comments rather than have anyone think him cowardly, so he stood his ground.

For her part, Lily looked equally as discomfited, clutching her paper bag of shopping close to her chest. James rarely had a chance to see much of Lily, surrounded as she was by other people who guarded her from him like rabid bulldogs, with her face generally screwed up in distaste. It was quite the experience, catching her with her face open, cheeks flushed from the cold, ears and nose glowing red.

James was nothing if not foolhardy to extremes, which explained why his mouth often seemed utterly unconnected to his brain, as now, when he found himself saying, 'Hello, Lily.'

Lily looked round him a bit fearfully _...as if expecting Sirius to jump out from behind him and stuff snowballs down her cloak, as he had in third year ..._ but after an awkward eternity, muttered, 'Hello, James' in return.

James was elated. Lily had actually said two words to him in a civil tone, and they weren't 'sod', 'off' or any derivative thereof. Without thought (not as unusual an occurrence for James as it was for the world in general), he smiled broadly at her, feeling his cheeks tingle with delight. Then, completely chuffed, he walked off down the road in a happy daze.

Lily turned after him, arms still tightly around her package, and blinked, her mouth agape. Where was the prank, the jape, the exploding something-or-other? James had just greeted her as one would a barely-known acquaintance, and smiled - _smiled_ , not grinned or smirked or sniggered - at her. And then gone about his merry way.

She shook her head in annoyance. She thought she'd seen all the sides of James, none of which were less than utterly irritating, but mysteriously-polite-James had to cap them all.

~

Remus and Sirius were seated by the fire in the Gryffindor common room when James came up, face glowing from the bone-chillingly freezing walk. Peter was sprawled out on a sofa near the portrait hole, already fast asleep, although it was barely eight o'clock.

'So, where's the stuff?' Sirius, who had looked up expectantly as James entered, asked.

'What stuff?' James shook his head in confusion. 'Chaps, I need your help -'

'You want to buy a present for Lily?' Remus was counting out sugar quills, and thus missed James' patented I'm-that-obvious?! expression.

'Yes,' James said at last. 'Can you help?'

'Nope,' Remus said diffidently, and cuffed Sirius as he began to say 'jewellery's always a killer'. 'James, this is something you have to do on your own. If you can't figure out what she might like after seven years, there's no point in us telling you.' He paused, and sent Sirius a poisonous glare. 'And if you even _try_ to suggest lingerie, I _will_ find out, because Lily will kill you both stone dead.'

'...No, perhaps not,' Sirius averred, although not without some regret.

James flopped into a chair, defeated. 'What's all this, then?' He gestured languidly at the items festooning the table.

'Our plan, which you've obviously completely forgotten.' Sirius picked up an Ice Mouse and began to chew off its head with meticulous care.

'Padfoot!' Remus exclaimed in annoyance. 'They weren't for you, remember?'

'Oh, yeah.' Sirius scratched his head, regarding the decapitated mouse with bemusement. 'I don't suppose -'

'No, we're _not_ putting it in as it is, Padfoot, for crying out loud.' Remus turned to face James, possibly out of the mistaken hope that he'd find some sanity there. 'Sirius' plan? You were supposed to get a couple of things from Zonko's?'

'Oh, that,' James said vaguely. 'No, I didn't - you never said this morning whether we were going through with it or not. Are we, then?'

'Oh, _yes_ , we are.' A mischievous grin lit Sirius' face - the one that made girls weak at the knees and boys think he practised it in the mirror. (Which he did, with James, as Peter fawned and Remus rolled his eyes and tried to hide behind a book.) 'Just look what I picked up at Madame Maulkin's!'

He pulled something large and red and furry out of a sack. James regarded it with surprise.

'Wasn't that in her window display? Why'd she give it to you?'

''Cause he charmed the knickers off her, of course,' Remus said mildly.

'Come off it,' Sirius retorted, 'it was only because you started quoting Auden at her that she let me over the threshold at all.' Remus shook his head, but he was smiling.

'So, James, d'you think you can pick up the rest soon?'

'Of course. I'll hop down tomorrow night, after the Prefect's meeting. You can cover for me.'

'Okay,' Remus said equably, quashing down his increasingly quiescent conscience.

'I think this is going to be great - our best yet.' Sirius rubbed his hand together in enthusiasm. 'Hey, Moony, d'you think I could eat the rest of that Mouse, seeing as it's half gone already?'

'Oh, go _on_ then,' Remus said with bad grace. 'If you eat one more, though, I'll charm them so you'll throw up.'

Sirius stuck out his lower lip, but Remus was looking fierce, and he was still getting half an Ice Mouse out of it, after all.

'Did someone say something about food?' Peter asked groggily, rearing up from the sofa.

~

Lily knew Potter and his gang were plotting something for Christmas. They were boringly predictable. Any occasion in which a large number of people were gathered in a small place just seemed to call out to them as an excuse for explosions galore, preferably with some kind of goo involved. She watched him all through the Prefects' meeting, which was chaired by the Head Boy and Girl, and she could see that he had a faraway expression in his eyes that always indicated that the cogs of troublemaking were on the go behind them.

Remus was looking like he'd sat on a hedgehog, which was a sure sign that he was being coerced into something.

She had two options. The first was to corner Remus and force him to tell her what was up. He'd blush and stutter and try to weasel his way out of it, and Sirius would appear as if by a psychic signal and whisk him away on an urgent errand. The second was to follow James and eavesdrop. _Talking_ to James always ended up in physical or mental damage on her part, so she wasn't even going to risk that.

In the end, neither option looked likely to yield results, and as Sirius was waiting outside the classroom, trying to corner Remus, so he was out of the picture, and she was left without any choice at all. James sloped away from his mates in a highly suspicious manner, and it was the easiest thing in the world to pretend she was trying to catch up with him on Head Girl business.

Staying carefully far enough behind so's he wouldn't notice her, she found herself in an nondescript corridor boasting only a hideous statue of a humpbacked witch. James was standing beside it, wand out; he glanced around, as if checking the coast was clear, and his eyes lit on Lily peeping around the wall.

James, for his part, was horrified to see Lily there. The passageways out of the castle were a closely-guarded secret, and he didn't imagine Lily would think too highly of him for using them to illicitly sneak into Hogsmeade _... and buy five flagons of Firewhiskey in fifth year by using an Aging Potion, and getting mouldy drunk in the common room at three in the morning, and when Lily came down to investigate McGonagall caught them all red-handed, and she got a week's detention along with them ..._

'Potter.' Lily's voice was even, but there was the promise of unevenness in the flash of her eyes in the dusk. 'You look highly suspicious, hanging around a deserted corridor without your toadies. What are you up to?'

James was angered, but this was familiar territory with Lily. 'Don't call my friends toadies,' he began, picking the easiest accusation of those offered.

'I don't see how you propose to stop me,' Lily snorted. 'Besides, it is the only possible adjective to describe Pettigrew.'

'Not a toad,' James managed, sounding slightly amused.

'Well?' Lily challenged. 'What are you doing here?'

James leaned casually against the statue, hoping his body would hide the opening in the witch's hump. Lily narrowed her eyes.

'And why is there a tunnel behind that statue?' she added, voice dripping with quiet, condensed rage. 'It's not a _secret_ tunnel, is it? That leads _out of the grounds,_ by any chance?'

'Er,' James said, as ever showing immense grace under pressure. 'Er. Yes?'

'Right, well,' Lily drawled, 'You weren't going to use it. Of course?'

'Er. Yes?'

' _JAMES POTTER!'_

 _'_ But you see, I have to get my, my mother's present,' James cut her off hurriedly. 'I - didn't have enough money, see, and I want to get it before it's taken.'

'What is it?' Lily asked suspiciously.

'One of these china plates with pictures on,' James replied promptly. That was easy enough; his mother had collected them since her own schooldays, and had a whole room devoted to nothing else - mainly because his father couldn't stand the sight of them than that there were enough to fill it. Still, she was easy to shop for, once you didn't double up.

'Oh.' Lily digested this information. 'Well. I see. As it's Christmas -' she spat out the word like a hairball '- I'll let you use this tunnel and not report you. But, James?' He looked up guiltily. 'First day of term, you are going to show me every secret passageway out of this castle.'

James nodded agreement, overwhelmed with relief. After all, she would never know the ones he missed out on...

She had turned on her heel and was nearly out of sight when he was struck by something.

'You know, there's one at the top of the Astronomy Tower...' he called after her.

Her step never even faltered.

'The one that I can push you off of, perhaps?' she returned sweetly.

For some reason, he thought he heard her sniggering, but within moments he was occupied with thoughts of joke shops and what could be the Marauder's best prank ever.

~

The Gryffindor common room, never a solemn and subdued place at the best of times, was in uproar on Christmas Eve. Since the advent of the Marauders to Hogwarts, many people chose to stay for the fun engendered by their presence. Of course, the other houses would have substituted 'life-threatening danger and hair-raising practical jokes' for 'fun', but that was precisely the reason that they _were_ in other houses.

There was a significant amount of cracker-pulling, shouting, tinsel-throwing, shouting, sweet-eating and shouting, but for all the joys of the season epitomised by such, it seemed a little dampened by the fact that Remus, James and Sirius were nowhere to be found. Peter was hovering around the background, grinning and stuffing his face, but there was little of interest to be gleaned in _that_ ; he did it every day, after all.

So, when the lights suddenly went out, it was with almost a feeling of relief that the Gryffindors began to scream in panic.

Before a mass stampede could begin, and even before any worthwhile groping could be attempted, a branch of candles, glowing green and red, descended from the stairs to the boys' dormitories. An eerie voice - James', trying to be deep and rumbly and failing spectacularly - spoke.

'Well, hello, my little Gryffindorian pals. Tonight, we have a very special visitor. But before he arrives, he wants me to ask you this question.'

As the common room waited, all as agog as three dozen gogs, James appeared in the archway, dressed incongruously in green leggings and a red tunic, wearing a hat with hundreds of tiny bells on. 'He wants to know - have you been naughty...or nice?'

There was widespread muttering and head-scratching at this. A few with greater conviction than the rest shouted out 'naughty!' or 'nice, definitely nice'. James rolled his eyes.

'You're meant to say 'Nice!',' he explained in long-suffering tones. 'Loudly now, chaps, or he won't come down at all. He's notoriously stuck-up like that.' He winked as the common room burst out, 'NICE!' in eardrum-smashing tones.

'Good, good,' James said in satisfaction. 'If I can direct your attention to the fireplace...'

...Where a great, gaudy gold throne had been installed. Peter was standing beside it, puffing loudly and looking immensely smug, despite three miles of rucked-up rug underneath it.

A fanfare issued from the stairwell, as Remus tried to simultaneously manage the stairs in curly-toed boots and blow on a tin trumpet. He appeared to be having great difficulty in preventing himself from rolling his eyes. As he reached the bottom step, he cast away the trumpet with relief, and dragged out a roll of carpet. James grabbed the other end, and together they tossed it out so that it reached from the stairs to the throne. Then they stood back, on either side of it. The crowd, who had shuffled back reverently from the red carpet, peered excitedly up the stairs.

From somewhere, the faint sounds of 'Here Comes Santa Claus' tinkled into the range of hearing. A fearsomely accurate 'HOHOHO' emanated from the top of the stairs, and a second later, Father Christmas waddled onto the carpet.

Well, strictly speaking, it was Sirius. But it was Sirius in a supremely convincing red suit, with white fur trim, bobble hat, huge pillow-stomach, broad leather belt and boots, and a _real beard._ Few knew an Aging Potion when they saw one, but everyone knew Father Christmas.

'Hohoho,' Sirius bellowed again, shaking a brass bell vigorously as he made his way to the throne. 'Hello, my little ones. 'ere, where's my elves?'

'Here,' Remus and James chorused, Remus wincing slightly.

'Bring us the presents then, there's good lads.' Sirius winked at Remus as he lumbered onto the throne, and Remus took his position on his right hand as James fetched the sack from where it was stashed in a dusty alcove.

At the word 'presents', everyone in the common room developed expressions of mixed apprehension and anticipation. Remus had a brief, urgent whispered conversation with Sirius.

'Ahem,' Sirius called, as James deposited the sack by the throne, 'on behalf of Elf Twinklybum here -' Remus shut his eyes in pain '- I would like to add that these presents do not explode - sadly - turn anyone's hair an unnatural colour - eh, Elf Wallywosa? - or otherwise cause harm and damage, 'cept maybe to your teeth. That's right, kids! Sweets! One for everybody in the audience!'

A huge roar of approval went up, and Remus began calling out names from a list he'd drawn up. James handed packages to Sirius, which were wrapped in skull-and-crossbones paper (Sirius' choice) and inexpertly tied with floppy red-ribbon bows (courtesy of Peter). All the younger years received an large, eclectic assortment of sweets, which miraculously seemed to match their tastes exactly, as well as a few Zonko products. Sirius made each comer sit on his lap while he whispered in their ear, and Remus was willing to bet his own share of the sweets that he wasn't asking him what they'd like for Christmas - unless, possibly, it involved new things to do with whipped cream.

At last it came to the other seventh years, on whom Sirius had insisted on spending a bit more time, effort and money. He'd chosen jewellery for Martina and Sarah (both of whom he'd dated at one point or another) and a set of peacock quills for Gideon. His presents for Remus, James and Peter were closely and fiercely guarded, and he'd let James pick out Lily's present. Remus still had misgivings about not giving James guidance on that, but if he adored the girl as much as he insisted he did, he needed to be able to buy her the right gift, for his own sake.

Patty and Mabs were oohing and ahhing over their gems, and Gideon was stuttering a surprised thank-you, when Sirius grinned wickedly and announced, 'Lily Evans'.

Lily, who'd been keeping to the back of the crush and maintaining a studied air of nonchalance, raised her eyes to heaven for a moment before coming forward. She failed to prevent Sirius yanking her onto his lap, to her internal shame.

'Well, Evans,' he whispered, making the hair beside her ear move and tickle her neck. 'I don't know what's in your package...' Lily started and glared '...although James would probably like to know -' Lily elbowed him in ribs, but although winded, Sirius refused to let her move. 'Let me tell you this, Evans - crass it may be, but all James wants for Christmas is you. It's all he's ever wanted. And guess what - I know you want him too. I've seen the way you look at him when you think no one's looking.' He winked at her.

Lily was in no mood for his blandishments. 'Bugger off, Sirius,' she snapped. 'I wouldn't worry about sorting out James' love life - your own is enough of a mess. And while we're on the revelations, how about you face up to some of your own? Because _I've_ seen the way _you_ look at Remus when you think no one's looking.'

She felt his grip slacken in shock, and took the opportunity to slide off his lap. She snatched her present from where James was holding it in readiness, with a muttered, ungracious 'thanks', and stalked off to the far side of the room, when she remembered to open it.

She glanced up as she tugged at the ribbon, to find James looking at her through his lashes with more than the usual avidity. As soon as he caught her eye he blushed and dropped his, and nor was that normal for him. James generally had all the natural timidity of an Amazonian tribesman engaged in a naked rain dance.

Intrigued, she tore the paper, and a small tissue-wrapped parcel fell out into her palm. She set down the paper on a nearby table, and with more care, removed the tissue from around what turned out to be a small sandalwood box. Though it barely fit into her palm, it was the work of a master craftsman; every plane was even and smooth, and the grain of the wood was unadorned save for what looked like a rose quartz piece set into the lid. Even more interested, she turned the box around, finally locating the catch.

An internal glow lit up her face as she opened it; the interior of the box consisted of about twenty tiny compartments, each holding little constructions of brightly-coloured feathers, semi-precious stones, crystals and copper wire.

Lily thought they were beautiful, but she had no idea what they were. Sirius truly had better taste than she'd even given him credit for, she'd decided; it was clearly something esoteric and rare, for she'd never seen anything like it in her life.

'Do you like it?' The voice behind her was breathy and nervous, and when Lily turned around she saw James behind her, blushing and looking utterly ridiculous in his elf costume. And that was surprising too - not that he looked ridiculous, for the things he did to his hair meant he could not but be, but that he was blushing. He looked almost shy. Another never-before-seen side of him that she'd have to store away for future bewilderment.

'Ah, Elf Wallywosa, isn't it?' James stuck his tongue out at her. 'It's lovely,' she admitted, 'but I don't know what it is!'

'Ah,' James said, sounding pleased. 'It's an antique charm box. See all the little things inside?' He pointed at the feathers and stone, lifting one up with the tip of his finger. In doing so, his shoulder was flush against hers, but for once she didn't object. 'They're all charms. Hedge-witchery was very popular back in Victorian times among Muggles; and once wizards found out what they were doing they tried to adapt them. Of course, Muggle charms have no effect whatsoever; but some wizards managed to channel magic through these contraptions. It was sort of pointless, except from an academic point of view, but -' he hesitated suddenly, rumpling his hair.

'Go on,' Lily encouraged. She'd never heard James wax enthusiastic about anything other than Quidditch or pranking, and it was rather novel.

'Er, well, you see,' James said, blushing again - Lily thought it suited him - 'it was traditional, for a while there, for lov - for people to give them to their close friends as a token of, erm, affection and things.' His words rushed together at the end of his speech, and he wasn't looking her in the face. 'The one with the blue stone, once activated, can project a feeling of calm for up to three days.' He patted his hips, as if looking for pockets, then remembered he had none. 'Damn! I must give you the instruction leaflet, so you can work them.'

'Why don't you just tell me?' Lily suggested recklessly.

He stared at her. 'Well, you could forget,' he said carefully.

'So you'll tell me again.'

'Um, okay,' James said, sounding terrified. 'Er. Yeah. I'd better go and thank Sirius for his present. Er.'

'What did he get you?' Lily asked, wondering if she wanted him to stay.

'This.' James held out his arm, on which was strapped a new, shiny, state-of-the-art watch. 'It tells the time in five different cities,' he added proudly.

'How - useful,' Lily said, for once not wanting to be snarky, but sounding like she was because the intelligent part of her brain had temporarily died. 'Listen, James - can you hang on here for a sec?'

'Sure,' James replied, bewildered, as Lily dashed away, clutching the charm box. He waited self-consciously by the wall. Peter ambled up to show off his present, which was another watch, one that clipped on to a shirt front. Peter's eyes were shining; he'd always wanted one like it. However, the bounty of butterbeer and raided food from the kitchens called out to him, and he left James to his vigil.

When Lily at last returned, her cheeks were flushed, and James could have sworn that she hadn't been wearing mascara before, and that her hair hadn't been that neat. He dismissed it as foolishness on his own part, however, and was quickly distracted by Lily shoving a silver parcel into his arms.

'Here,' she said, gulping slightly, as though she'd run a long distance. 'I - well, I made it for you. Your other one seems to have gone to pieces, and, well -' She shrugged awkwardly. 'Open it.'

After staring at her in consternation for a moment, and seeing her cheeks redden even more, James carefully unsealed the wrapping, while Lily did an jig of impatience. He drew out a long red-and-yellow scarf. It was easily twice the length of his old, ratty black one, which, as she had pointed out, was practically unravelled what with being dragged about the place, sat on and inadvertently dropped into corrosive potions. In addition, it was obscenely soft. He ran a hand over it in awe.

'You made this yourself?' he managed.

'Yeah - I, well, I thought you could do with it, and well!' Her voice rose nervously. 'I was knitting anyway, and I thought...' She took a deep breath. 'Merry Christmas, James,' she whispered, putting one hand lightly on his shoulder and leaning in to kiss him softly on the cheek.

James raised a hand to his cheek in wonderment. Lily had darted off into the crowd before he could wish her a Merry Christmas, too.

As he wound the scarf around his neck, where it clashed horribly with his outfit, he decided happily that, just maybe, he'd be able to tell her later.

~

The festivities wound down around half-past twelve, when most of the younger students were looking forward to their beds and the presents to come in the morning. Sirius, who'd got rid of his beard and lost the pillow, but refused to take off the Santa suit, wandered around marshalling the Prefects and any random passers-by to help with the clean-up, although he was neither a Prefect nor a participant in cleaning up himself.

The common room was nearly empty by the time he found Remus. Peter was snoring on a pouffe, and Sirius woke him none too gently and told him to get to bed. Remus was gathering up detritus from one of the armchairs to deposit on the fire. As it flared up, he turned to grin up at Sirius from where he was kneeling on the floor. The burst of light threw shadows up under his chin and lit his hair with a burnished glow. Sirius remembered Lily's remark, and swallowed.

Surely people couldn't have _noticed_? Remus hadn't...yet...

'I think we can count that as a roaring success,' Remus was saying, sounding content. 'I must say, it was one of your best, Padfoot - or should I say, Father Christmas?'

'You can just stop that now, Elf Twinklybum,' Sirius warned, and this time Remus merely grinned.

He threw himself onto the couch next to Sirius, watching the flames with half-lidded eyes. 'I love Christmas,' he remarked. 'Everyone gets so dizzy, and crazy things can happen, all because of the seasonal madness...can you believe, I saw Lily kiss James on the cheek? Next thing we know, there'll be pigs flying about on little wings.'

'Come off it, Moony,' Sirius said comfortably. 'You know she likes him. I don't think she wants to admit that she finds the silly berk attractive is all.'

'I don't see why.' Remus yawned. 'James is decent enough underneath all the posturing.'

'He's improved,' Sirius conceded. Remus rolled his eyes.

'This, coming from the man we like to call Pretentiousness Personifed?' he snorted. 'That's rich.'

'Ah, Moony, you wound me,' Sirius said, clutching his heart. Remus laughed, deep in his throat. He only did that when he was very tired, such as when Sirius had kept him awake long into the night talking of nothing.

Remus hefted his curly-toed boots onto the table, and regarded them with incredulity. 'The things you make me do, Sirius,' he murmured. Sirius bit his lip.

'I never gave you your present yet,' he remarked, trying to make it sound absolutely casual.

'Oh, yeah,' Remus said. 'Not that you needed to, mind.' Sirius opened his mouth to object, but Remus placed his hand square across it, and grinned in an almost evil manner. 'I already have enough watches, you know.' Underneath his hand, Sirius stuck out his tongue.

'Ah, Padfoot,' Remus said in a pained voice, removing it, 'there was no call to be licking me at all.'

'Sorry,' Sirius said, although he wasn't. 'Look, this is it.' He delved into his voluminous pockets and withdrew a piece of greenery. 'Sorry, I didn't have time to wrap it.'

'Padfoot, you're giving me holly?' Remus sounded puzzled. 'I think that's only relevant in Sweden...'

'It's not holly, it's mistletoe,' Sirius mumbled, wishing that his usual glibness had not gone on a sudden hiatus. Remus was looking at the mistletoe he'd taken with a bemused and faintly wary expression, and Sirius didn't think he _got_ it, or wanted to get it.

Sirius gulped, and willed himself to look Remus in the eye. Remus was concentrating at his hands, but his gaze moved inexorably upwards, as it tends to do when someone is staring at you.

'Ah, Padfoot,' he said again, reluctantly. 'Sirius. Come on, it's -'

'Christmas, I know,' Sirius whispered, and his success in keeping his heart in his thoracic cavity and preventing it leaping up his throat gave him enough of a boost to press his lips chastely to Remus', still wondering if this wasn't the worst idea he'd ever had, but, as Remus jumped slightly and trembled, not particularly caring.

'There,' Sirius said breathlessly, withdrawing, 'that wasn't so painful, was it?'

'Sirius, you have no idea,' Remus sighed.

He made no objections to Sirius pinning the mistletoe above their heads, however, so Sirius took it as permission to kiss him again. And this time, when he made to pull away, Remus' insistent hands on his shoulders stopped him.

Sirius hadn't thought it was possible to be so happy.

~

Withdrawing around the door and grinning like a loon, James made his way back up to the dorms, humming a carol that seemed quite unusually appropriate in the circumstances, once a word or two had been changed.

He even thought he might tell Lily about it, tomorrow.


End file.
